Friday, August 13, 2010

Vacay Guest: Bron shares a tale of vacation gone horribly wrong

I’m still vacationing in France while one-of-a-kind-witty author Bronwyn Green is taking over my place with her warm personality. Check out her enjoyable and versatile site here>>>


Since Janna’s on vacation, I thought I’d share a tale of vacation gone horribly wrong. Well, not the whole vacation…just the part where

Fellow author Brynn Paulin and I were in NYC at writing conference. We'd gone out to dinner with some chapter members and some of the women said they wanted to ride the subway, but were afraid to do it on their own. So Brynn, her dh and I, who'd been riding the trains all week, went with her and decided to ride the F train since it was on the way back to our hotel. That's when things started to go awry.

There were these handy automated ticket machines. Put in two bucks, and it would spit out a ticket, then you went to the turnstile slipped the ticket into the reader, the machine clicked and you pushed open the least that's how it's supposed to work.

Unfortunately, it was a full body turnstile instead of the waist-high ones I was used to. Having used my last two dollars, I stood in line behind my friends and waited my turn. I fed the machine my ticket and tried to walk through.

It didn't work.

Brynn patiently stood on the other side of the turnstile and passed me two dollars and told me to get another I did.

Same thing.

Brynn, slightly less patiently, handed me another two dollars.

Same thing.

By now, I've got about 20 New Yorkers standing behind me trying to give me advice on how to get through.

"Just go real, slow, girl and then push—real slow...then push."

"Okay, what ya hafta to do is push and walk, push and walk."

"You can do it, girl. You can do it."

I think we went through this scenario two more times. I'm laughing so hard at this point I've got tears rolling down my face and I can hardly stand up. There was a little old woman who kept asking Brynn if her friend was okay—as though I was some sort of escapee from a mental hospital.

Brynn, wearing the expression she usually saves for her misbehaving children, sent me back for one more ticket. The very nice people in line let me through again, and I fed the ticket into the machine. Before I could touch the gate, Brynn finally snapped, "Don't. Touch. Anything. Just. Walk." She then proceeded to pull the gate toward her, and of course I manage to walk right through.

We got through in time to make the train where many of the poor souls who had been standing behind me were already seated. When I entered the car, several of the people clapped and cheered. One guy yelled, "You GO girl. I knew you could do it. I just knew it."

Sometimes, I feel like my purpose in life is to be a walking talking cautionary tale.

So…anybody wanna go on vacation with me? ;)

Okay, I don’t blame you. Instead, let’s take a brain vacation together. Here’s some of my favorite man candy. :D


Contest rules:

Leave a comment on this and/or any other blog post between August 2nd and 20th for a chance to win one of the six Vacay Giveaway prizes.
A comment on one of the posts from August 2-20 gives you 1 entry for the contest, a comment on 2 of the posts 2 entries, a comment on 3 of the posts 3 entries, etc. So, the more frequent you return to show some luv to my guest bloggers the higher your chances to win one of the six prizes! :)
In the weekend of August 21st I’ll announce who the 6 winners are (selected with; winner #1 can choose first, winner #2 second, winner #3 third, etc. from one of the six prizes. Don’t forget to check back then or leave a way for me to contact you in your comment or profile.

The prizes are, in random order:
• A $15 Gift Certificate from any online bookstore I can buy from
• An ecopy of Daughters of Persephone by Julia Rachel Barrett
• One of Mia Watts’ ebooks of choice. Check out her books here
• A book of choice from The BookDepository (of max $10 and only when they ship to your country... sorry)
• One of Bronwyn Green’s ebooks of choice. Check out her books here
• An ebook of choice from DreamSpinner Press

With thanks to DreamSpinner Press, Mia Watts, Bronwyn Green and Julia Rachel Barrett for sponsoring this Vacay Giveaway by donating their prizes!


  1. Nice story, but I do prefer the eyecandy lol ;)

  2. You're speshul! ;)

    Mmmm... I really, really like the sheet drapery...

  3. OMG, funniest story ever! That is so cool that everyone was cheering you on.

    I was just in NYC last week and my daughter and I had the refillable cards. You swipe it and the damn thing is SUPPOSED to say "go", but I swear I had to do it three times every freaking time while my daughter was breezing through first try. Not sure I was going too fast, or too slow or it just hated me. At least I didn't hold up a line of people. :-)

    Gorgeous eye candy too. Thanks.

  4. You've got wicked good taste in cookies!

    NYC is such a riot! I love how the people interact with each other. :D My face would have been flaming, but laughter is def the better response!

  5. haha! That totally sounds like something that would happen to me. :)

    I like the draped man too. rawr!


  6. Hi sweetie, commented but it didn't show up. Hilarious post!

  7. OMG, I got tears I was laughing so hard reading this, and I was there. It was so freaking funny :-)

    Glad we didn't lose you there in the subway station.


  8. One can always count on Bron for hilarious stories and eye candy.

    BTW, hon - the NY Subway system thanks you for funding their refurbishment.


  9. Amused. Thanks Bron.

    (You can keep the candy)

  10. @ Bloueuedd - I'm glad the eye candy is appealing. ;)

    @ Chris - a speshul kinda speshul. :D Mmmmm drapy guy...

    @ Tam - I excel public humiliation. ;) And honestly, I don't know why New Yorkers have such a bad reputation. Everyone was so nice to us - especially the subway crowd. Thanks for the heads up on the refillable cards...think I'll make Brynn swipe them for me, because I'm pretty sure I'll be doing the same thing you did. :D

    @ Sweet Vernal Zephyr - Why, thank you!:D Believe me, my face was beet red, but it was too hilarious not to laugh!

    @ Jase - I'm glad I'm not alone in doing those sorts of things! If we ever traveled together we could probably bring the entire subway system to a grinding halt. ;)

    @ Julia - Pooh to the comment not showing, but thanks, hon! :)

    @ Brynn - I would probably still be stuck trying to get on the F train if not for you. :D Hey! Let's ride it again next month, but you have to work the turnstiles.

    @ Genella - LOL! I want a seat on the F train with my name on it. ;)

    @ A man called Valance - Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you were amused, and if you're sure you don't want the candy, I'll gladly keep it. ;)

  11. Oh my God, I made an actual noise when I saw that second picture. How have we been friends so long and you've never shared that with me??????

  12. Hey Hon,

    So I"m reading thinking... gee can we please please please repeat that at AAD... now we have to go to NYC for sure and ride a subway.

    I thought I'd seen my share in the Toronto subways, but getting stuck in a full body turny thing... love it.

    The closet I've come is watching a poor soul stuck in the rotating doors at the hospital... they just seem to go round and round... I know.. but I think they're at the hospital for a reason.

    Great story. hugs,

  13. Great story and have to say loving the eye candy.


  14. The eye candy is sweet. Great post.


  15. It's moments like that that make a vacation perfect. You have to have an embarrasing story to tell everyone for years to come.

    Thanks too for the beef. I'm getting very drooly looking at those pretty boys.

    joderjo402 AT gmail DOT com

  16. Hysterical story and beautiful men - thanks, Bron, for brightening my evening!

  17. @ Jen - Clearly, I'm a terrible friend. I'll figure out a way to make it up to you.

    @ Kris - Absolutely! We definitely need to go experience the subway together.

    @ Gabrielle - Thanks!!! :)

    @ Loretta - Glad you enjoyed it!!! :)

    @ Joder - I seem to have more than my fair share of stories. ;)

    @ Tessie - You're welcome, honey - and thank you!!! :)

  18. Oh!Thank-you so much for sharing that, Bron. That story was priceless! Started my day off just right. ((hugs)) I'd ride the subway with you any day...(*pats pockets down to make sure has plenty of cash*)...and yeah! the drapery! ;)

  19. Hey, Bron! Nice job stopping traffic on the subway. I'm glad Brynn was there to lend a helping 2 bucks, 4 bucks, 6 bucks...

    Way to go, Brynn!


  20. I absolutely LOVE this story:) I still think you should find a way to incorporate it into one of your books!

  21. Delicious candy! thank you! I kept waiting to see if No. 2's towel was going to slip a bit, but alas.... :D

  22. I can imagine your utter mortification but looking back, now you can laugh about it :-)

    Thanks for the eye candy, the first one looks yummy! Those soulful deep eyes..mmm.. :-p

  23. This definitely would be something that happened to me. I'm glad after a gazillion dollars you got through. lol lol
    I love the drapery and red is my favorite color. Thanks for sharing.
    Carol L.


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